Monday, January 4, 2010

Ok, So I Have No Discipline

So the whole "Balance and Moderation" thingy...not as easy as it sounds. After the Cupcake Fiasco of 2009, where I ate 5 chocolate cupcakes in one sitting...making myself so sick, that the thought of sugar made me want to hurl. I thought, "This is it, this is the day that I will be done with sweets (at least in the aspect of overindulgence)." That idea was as good as the time I decided to quit smoking by smoking one cigarette after another...attempting to make myself sick. I'll bet you can guess what happened next, yes, that is correct, I became more addicted to cigarettes. So of course the next morning in the spirit of Balance and Moderation, I made banana nut muffins swearing I would only eat one...after I finished the first one, I thought one more wouldn't hurt. Then Bill, my husband came back from the gym and ate 1/2 of one...I didn't want that one to go to waste, so I ate that one too.

I could go on and on, confessing my sins to you, but the point is that what I thought was going to be a simple and easy resolution to 2010 is in one word...not. My extreme behavior is apparent in all aspects of my life - food is just the most apparent. You can't really hide the fact that you are overweight. I am extreme at work, with finances, with my relationships, with food, with activities...pretty much anything I am involved in or touch. I am a mess. So I guess I am going to have to break it down into simple, attainable goals.

What should I start with? Hmmmm....maybe I should take an inventory first. I will make a schedule of my life and check out where I should start.

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